To say I am feeling grateful for my friends and family who have shown me God's Grace this week would be a gross understatement. It was a brutal week for me, this week. My spirits where as low as they have ever been, my peace was completely out of reach and panic set in. I literally hyperventilated at one point and it felt like as soon as I stopped crying I would start all over again. I am more likely to hide under my covers then reach out for help, yet God brought help to me. My friend Jen, whose children Ben and Zia we watched last summer, showed up at my door late one night and reminded me that God's Work is done even when you aren't looking for it. She left me speechless and humbled. Thank You seems insufficient, but I will say it anyway... Thank You, my friend. My sisters, Brandi and Cori showed me love, support and selfless generosity. My sweet beautiful sisters, Thank You. I am more grateful for your love, support and friendship than you will ever know. Your love gave me the strength and courage to pick myself up off the floor and reach out for help. My church family gifted, not only the most beautiful blue spruce Christmas Tree we have ever seen, but an amazing cherrywood crib for Ari that we can turn in to a toddler bed and then a daybed. Through this, we where blessed to meet another homeschooling family who has struggled much like we are. As are result, we feel a lot less alone in our struggle to find our footing again. Most of all my church family lifted me up in prayer, that my panic would abate and I would once again be able to rest in the peace that God promises to His Beloved. The end of the week has brought me peace and hope. I am still, finally, quietly reflecting and admiring all the small details that God took care of... He spoke clearly to me, through those around me... You are NEVER alone my beloved Child.
My mother has been a constant source of emotional strength and practical help, not only this week, but always. Mom, Thank You for all you do. Your strength, wisdom and generosity have been my touchstone. Dad said to tell you Thank You, from the bottom of his heart... yes, he really said that. He is grateful that you do what he wishes he was able to. Daddy, I love you. Our yearly trip to get the kid's Christmas presents always reminds me that we don't spend enough time together. Aunt Bonnie, you always do so much for so many people, quietly and joyfully. The chicken was delicious and we are making homemade chicken soup with what is left. The cupcakes where gone before you left and the clothes you have sent home for Talyn and Sylver are such a blessing to us. I admire you so much- your courage, your strength, your selfless, loving spirit. Thank You and I love you. Izz, Thank You so much for starting a new Christmas cookie tradition with the children. The cookies are long gone but they are still joyfully talking about it!
We are holing up for a couple of days because of a major winter storm.... the first flakes are falling now. I am looking forward to being snowed in with my family. For a small moment the world will stop for us and we will get to enjoy what God has brought. It means time with my family to decorate our Christmas Tree, finish making the kidlets' presents, set up Ari's crib, make some yummy holiday goodies and enjoy each others company. I am looking forward to seeing the children play in the snow and, particularly, Ari's reaction to it! The new year will likely bring some hard changes and challenges, but for now I want to just enjoy this peaceful reprieve made possible by my Loving Heavenly Father and the family and friends He has brought in to my life. I truly love you and am humbled by the love you have shown me. My Prayers for you will never cease.
In Christ, In Joy, In Hope,